I was catching up on wedding blogs when I came across a March posting by Aletha at Pearls Events. Aletha wrote a post about what she would have done differently for her wedding (with the same budget and with a dream budget) if she could do it all over again.

I was going to simply leave a comment on her weblog, but I had too much to say so I detailed my thoughts on my own blog.

(A little background) Unlike Aletha, I got married 12 years ago, but I still love my wedding. There are so many things that I would NOT change — the venue, the food, the music, the favors, the DJ, the officiant, my husband. It was great!  But, to be honest, there were a few things that I definitely would have changed.  So like Aletha, I separated my thoughts by same budget and dream budget.

The Same Budget

1. I would have picked my first choice for a wedding dress. My dress was fine (it was my mother’s first choice), but I had my eye on the beautiful silk slip dress that Carolyn Bisset Kennedy wore. I have a little more substance in the boobage area, so I would have added a white sheer, hand-painted duster. I wanted to be so cosmopolitan!

2. I would have gotten a smaller bouquet. I saw a picture of a bouquet that Martha Stewart made for a bride and I instantly wanted it – it had 40 peonies and 40 roses. It was stunning. My floral designer tried to talk me out of it, but I had to have it. Well guess what, I felt like I was pumping iron throughout my entire reception! I put my bouquet down every chance that I got. Who knew that roses and peonies could be so heavy!

3. I would have made a better list of the photos that I wanted and taken advantage of my venue more for wedding photographs. I got married at the Wakefield Valley Golf Club in Westminster Maryland. It was a wonderful venue and my photographer was absolutely fabulous! But I was so deep into the details that I neglected to take advantage of all of the fabulous scenery.

4. I would have gotten a lesson in how to sit in my wedding dress.  It was a mess!  I tried moving the back of the dress to the right.  Then I tried to move the back of the dress to the left.  I eventually lifted the back of the dress and draped it over my chair (I know, you can take the bride out of Ray-Rayville, but . . .).  Take it from me, before you leave the bridal shoppe, get a lesson on how you should sit in your wedding gown.

5. I would have relaxed. I was so concerned about all of the wedding and reception details that I didn’t truly enjoy myself. I should have had a wedding planner! (dream budget).

The Dream Budget

1. I would have hired a professional wedding consultant. Because I had to watch my wedding dollars carefully and because I was an experienced event planner, I thought that I could plan the entire wedding myself. Oy! Vey! What was I thinking! One week prior to my wedding, my ceremony soloist had to cancel; one of my bridesmaids was placed on maternity bed rest; and the weatherman was forecasting rain during my outdoor wedding. I was a mess. I instantly understood the value of having someone keep the details together for me while I figured out how I could control the weather.

2. I would have held a large party for all of my wedding guests instead of holding a rehearsal dinner. Both my honey-do and I come from large families, and I spent so much of the wedding reception stopping at each table and talking to family members and friends — I had very little time to dance! I would not have felt so obligated to stop at each table if I partied with everyone the evening before.

3. I would have invited more guests! As I said before, we come from large families and whittling down our guest lists was quite an agonizing exercise!

Thanks for the idea Aletha! Married readers what would you do?

Love & Soul Always, Kay

(Bouquet Photo: PetalsEdge.com)