I really enjoy watching about weddings on reality shows and in movies.

Unfortunately, I also find them frustrating.

Why? Because, they can distort a couples’ view of wedding planning. Creating lies and expectations that are a tad unrealistic.

Here are my truths –

• Wedding vendors do not “prey” on couples.  Contrary to what you may see on TV, wedding industry professionals do not “hike” up the cost of their services simply because a couple says they are planning a wedding.  Weddings are emotional, laborious events — the work is typically demanding and time consuming (so much more than a non-wedding social event); numerous changes are typically made; and additional equipment is typically required.  In the end, event professionals spend more time and money to provide wedding services to a client.

• Your wedding planner is not your fairy godmother. There is nothing more fun than seeing celebrity wedding planners take a bride’s wedding, and transform it into this extravagant production filled with flowers, fabric and bling. But, one little question is never answered on some of these shows – Who is going to pay for all of this wedding goodness? Many wedding designers have the expertise to transform just about any ballroom – But, the money to carry out the transformation doesn’t grow on a magical wedding planner tree. It needs to be allocated into the budget.

• Wedding planning does not have to be dramatic. By its very nature, weddings are emotional. But, they don’t have to be dramatic. Drama stems from conflict, over-reactions, and unrealistic expectations. If you get those three little issues in check, you will minimize your drama. Side note – Wedding shows edit the wedding planning episodes to ensure that the dramatic scenes are showcased. Why? Because, those dramatic wedding planning scenes are good for TV ratings.

• Wedding Planners are not Caricatures found on Sitcoms. Wedding planners like Franck in the movie, “Father of the Bride,” make for great entertainment. But, in reality, “Franck” sucked at wedding planning. So, did Candice Bergen’s wedding planning character on “Bride Wars.” Jennifer Lopez’s character on the movie, “Wedding Planner” was pretty good until she started getting involved with the bride’s man! What is up with that!?! I can assure you that your professional wedding planner will be focused on your wedding planning and not your man.

• A bride’s (or a groom) bad behavior is not okay. If you watch a popular bride TV show, you have probably seen vendors standing by while a bride has an adolescent meltdown. Some wedding vendors may allow brides to get away with these shenanigans. But, most of your vendors will have a conduct clause in their agreement that allows them to walk away from your wedding planning (and your wedding) if you behave in such an inappropriate manner.

So, what is the bottom line here? “Don’t believe everything you see on TV.”

Love and Soul Always, Kawania